headshots / Photography / thoughts by Maddie

Photo PTSD

August 29, 2019

As a photographer, it’s SO easy to get lost behind the camera.

You’re always the one taking the photo, and let’s face it, non-photographers (and some photographers, too…bless their hearts) take the shittiest photos of you.

Back fat?!?! Why didn’t you tell me to turn? Why is THAT the one photo you posted on Facebook? God, do you even like me?

Because, if we are being honest, we know what we look like. We look at ourselves in the mirror Every. Single. Day. So why is it soooooo surprising when we see that photo?

I’ve narrowed it down to 1 Reason.

We HOPE that we look different from what we KNOW.

I know that I was wearing pink undies under my yoga pants, but I was hoping that no one else KNEW that was the case.

On a photo level, you hope that any photo of you shows only your best qualities. That’s easier to accomplish in videos because you’re talking, laughing, walking, twirling. Not to mention there’s personality and your brain kinda fills in the gaps in a more positive light.

Not in a photo. Hell to the no.

A photo is just a split second of time. And it can be merciless.

It’s easy to think that you only need to take one shot to make the photo turn out perfect because that’s the case when friends take photos of you. It’s a ‘one and done’ little snapshot that is getting tagged online immediately, and there is no room for adjustments other than your filter you put on it.

And that’s when alllllllllllll of this Photo PTSD develops!

“I hate looking at photos of myself. I hate getting my photo taken. I hate the way my smile looks. I hate the way I look. I hate feeling so self-conscious. I hate this stomach situation right now. Of course, I’m all broken out. Is bra fat (or weird mole, gray hair, weird skin thing, nail beds…the list is ENDLESS, just fill in the blank) going to show up on camera?”

All of these thoughts went through my head. MY HEAD. The photographer’s head. The person who is supposed to assure you everything’s going to be fine.

Because I didn’t have my photographer hat on. I had my customer hat on.

Nevertheless, I decided it was time for new photos. I’m not going to lie. I was scared. I copped out of hiring someone and just took them myself because I didn’t know who I could go to.

CODE FOR: I didn’t know WHO I could trust MY insecurities with.

I didn’t want to get photos back and cry because yet another photo shows all the things I hate most about my body.

So, I took the photos myself…which was kinda rough at first, but I thought I would show you some.

(It’s hard to focus when you don’t have anything to focus on while setting up the camera…) Minor setback. Lol

I actually really loved it.

I loved it because I finally remembered the process. The process I bank my entire business on. The whole process I sell to any client walking in the door.

The process of how a photo session works.

You don’t just take one photo. You take SIX HUNDRED. And you don’t just take a photo of you in the same spot. You sit. You stand. You lean. You turn. You smile. You laugh. You’re serious. You’re goofy. Don’t even get me started on the hands. Up, down, in the pockets, on the hips, resting on a table, behind the back. And then…you put on a different outfit.

And you do IT ALL AGAIN.

Headshots by Madison Yen — When you realize you have a plant, a stool, and some cables in the photo, but you just say, “fuck it, I’ll crop it out later….”

How did I forget that???

You take a million photos. And some are sooooo bad. When one eye is blinking and the other one is just chilling there. Like WTF is happening with my eye right now?! And some are of your face right in the middle of a sentence when your mouth looks all weird. And some are of you being all slouchy and poochy. And some are when you magically have your chin tucked in and that creates four chins. I didn’t even know I could HAVE four chins, but I guess I somehow managed….

But that is part of the process! Every last chin of it.

Because for every 8 bad ones, you have an acceptable one. One that you’re like “Ok, I can work with that. That’s more like it….”

And for every 15 ok ones, there’s a really nice one. One that you’re like, “ok yesssss, this is in the ‘yes’ pile.”

And for every 5 really nice ones, there’s a “HELL YES, FUCK YOU ALL. Fuck ANYONE who has ever taken a photo of me mid-bite sitting at a table like a fucking hamster stuffing it’s face with some hay. Because that shit is a lie. Because THIS. RIGHT HERE. THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE. THIS IS ME.”

It was after this process that I started being nicer to myself.

Because seeing all of the bad ones was…bad, but then seeing the all of the great ones mixed in, too, was so gratifying. Being able to laugh at myself was a relief. And being able to think, “Ok, I can work with this. I’ll fix x, y, z in photoshop and MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE” was a gift.

A gift that said, “Hey, I like your hair today. And you know what, Madison Yen, I think you’re kinda pretty. And you can rock black like a badass bitch.”

After this ONE SHOOT, I started finding little things that I liked about myself.

Now I KNOW that good sides of my face exist. I know that flattering poses of my body EXIST. Whether my friends post those or not, at least I know that they’re there. Now I can at least start to REWRITE this photo PTSD that has developed in my brain.

For good or for evil, that’s the power of ONE photo.

xoxo

madison

Business / Lifestyle / Photography / thoughts by Maddie

Remember that time we tried to avoid each other at the store but accidentally made eye contact??

August 21, 2019

Y’all, where has the time gone? How is it already August? Of 2019?!?! What happened to 2018, let alone half of 2019??

I’ve been gone sooo long from blogging, it’s like I forgot what to do with my hands.

Kind of like when you’ve lost touch with a close friend. And you kept meaning to text and check in, but then there was this great show on Netflix and you had to do some laundry and, ya know, feed your cat. But you totally promised yourself that you would check in next week when you were more open. Then, 4 years go by…and you, completely out of the blue, run into each other at the grocery store. Of course, you haven’t showered in 3 days, but y’all hug anyways because neither of you want to be rude. And now…you’re there awkwardly updating each other on your life, trying not to be the first person to bring up the weather. Hellooooooo, global warming.

And that’s where we are right now.

I’ve been so busy doing my job, being the photographer, editing photos, tending to my clients, and living my life (Did I mention that I got married…AND moved to Denver?!?!? Check me out on Yelp!?!?) that now the idea of writing something…anything about photography seems impossible. It’s hard when you’re buried so deep inside your business, you forget what it looks like to your customers. And I think that’s the station the struggle bus is at right now.

As you already know, all businesses have a product or service that they offer. They market their product/service, and then these amazing people called customers come and buy said product/service. And all of this is an amazing circle of life, until you’re like: Shit, I don’t know what to do with my hands.

Because my product is to make your product look good. Which means the customer has to use their IMAGINATION on what the best version of their product looks like. Not that easy.

I know that I love Charlize Theron, but will I ever be her?? The answer is…unfortunately, no.

I will never be Charlize. I will only ever be Madison Yen. But I can still be the BEST VERSION of myself. It might be hard to picture (ha, see what I did there?), but that’s where I would step in.

So HOW do I convey to them, “Hey man, I got you. I GET you. Just let me show the world who you really are!”?

And how the hell do you fit all of that into an Instagram post?

All of these points/struggles are what I want to blog about, but I didn’t really know where to start. I imagined that it would be with some new photos, but I’ve had a small realization that I can’t really get new business unless people find my website. And people will never find my website unless Google decides to play nice and make it searchable for shit like: “Denver photographer” and “Denver wedding photographer” and “Denver family photographer.”

That bitch.

So now, here we are. At the grocery store, unshowered and making awkward conversation.

But the good news is that it will get better! Just bear with me. Because I’m not going to lie and tell you everything has been peaches and cake so the conversation can stop at surface level. (Though, both peaches AND cake sound great right now.) Let’s DIG into it. Where I’ve been. Where you’ve been. What’s great? What’s hard AF? What are you worried about? What am I worried about? Which pretty much means I want to have a real fucking conversation with you.

Ok?

Ok.

I’ve got some ideas up my metaphorical sleeve. Some challenges I’ll be working on paired with a shiny new commitment to you that I will be checking in for real. And wouldn’t you know…here we are, on the fast track to true BFFs again.

Netflix and the cat (though I actually have a dog named Bears. Photos to come…) can wait.

xoxo

madison

Featured / thoughts by Maddie

Memphis Wedding Photographer: Thoughts by Maddie 10-2-18

October 2, 2018

Memphis Wedding Photographer: Thoughts by Maddie 10-2-18

Hey hey! Maddie here.

It’s been a loooooooooong time since I’ve posted really anything on my wedding blog other than wedding photos (and even those have been at a minimum). So, I thought it was time to discuss something a little closer to home because we’re all friends here, right??

I’ve been bad about weddings lately. I haven’t posted on facebook, emailed, tweeted, or instagrammed much at all. In fact, I have been doing the absolute bare minimum the last year and a half.

Yeah, we noticed Maddie…why??

Well, some old news…my dad, my business partner and my best friend in the entire world, died in 2015. Maybe you knew that, maybe you didn’t. But 2015, for my business was the hardest both technically and emotionally to have to go through losing him. But it was do-able because I still had my husband and family to help support me, and because weddings still made sense.

Until a year and a half later when my husband and I got divorced. And between the double Ds of death and divorce, it made shooting weddings too much for me. People told me to “just separate the work from my personal life.” “Just do your job.” “Get ‘er done.”

And well, I kinda suck at that.

When I take photos, especially wedding photos, I cannot take my emotion out of the session. I have to get personally invested in the client and their life, and I have to have some sort of emotional connection to them in order to create images that show their emotions to each other.

It’s a lot. And I’ve been bitter.

Which is what I have struggled with this last year and a half – feeling like I got the short end of the stick. So, how can I photograph people getting married when I feel this way? It just seemed fake.

Ahhh, you didn’t expect a wedding photographer to discuss divorce, did you? Seems ironic doesn’t it?

Not to say I haven’t shot any weddings the last two years. Of course I have. I’ve laughed, cried, screamed, danced, and loved my way through weddings. I’ve made some amazing new friends, and I’ve met the most wonderful couples and families that I couldn’t have even dreamed of having as clients.

It was this semi-break from weddings and my amazing couples who have allowed me to heal.

To fall back in love with weddings again.

Weddings are stressful. I’m dead the next day. There’s a ton of work before, during and after the wedding day, and there’s the extra stress of a wedding being a one-time event that you don’t want to mess up. BUT, it’s also an amazing day to experience the behind the scenes…like a fly on the wall during one of the most intimate, happy, and just all around emotional days of someone’s life. Through my camera, I can see the world clear as day. I can see true love exist. True happiness, emotion, and familial support…all captured through photos. Moments that I have the privilege to witness over and over again.

And finally, after taking some time to grieve the loss of my dad and this divorce, I can breathe again.

I can go to a wedding and cry, not because I miss my dad or I’m sad because my marriage didn’t work, but I can go to a wedding and truly cry tears of joy because this is something that I love. Because my couples are the best part of my job and my business. And because I’m genuinely happy for them and this life that they get to live.

So what now you ask?

I guess now, I just want you to love in your most honest and best possible way. Love the gorgeous day you’re putting together, and just remember what it’s for in the first place. Appreciate your parents, your family, and your future spouse. Because life is short and because extra love and gratitude never hurt anyone.

And when you hire your photographer (and any other wedding vendors, for that matter), give them some grace. It’s not an easy job. It’s exhausting, difficult, and emotional.

But I dare say…

It’s worth it.

Till next time.

xoxo

maddie

family portraits / thoughts by Maddie / yen studios

Mini Session Prep

November 11, 2016

Hi everyone!!

So, I know everyone is all ready for the weekend! I wanted to make a quick post on prepping for your mini sessions this weekend and the next!

So let’s get down to it.

For the Tree farm on the 13th…

Here is the address: 1890 Getwell Rd, Nesbit, MS 38651

If you’re heading south on Getwell, the tree farm will be on your left. It kinda sneaks up on you, so just pay attention.

Here are just a few quick pics taken with my iphone. You will want to park up front and walk around the right side of the building.

This is what you are looking for. You’ll see my cool vintage red truck when you’re walking around the property (not pictured). I recommend getting there about 10 or so minutes early. This will give you time to find it, and meet me at our spot. We will be past this bridge area. Don’t worry, you’ll see it when you pull up. I will also have a LOVELY Santa Elf assistant there to tell you where you need to go. 🙂 She may or may not be wearing a Santa Hat. Not making any promises on that one.

For Downtown on the 19th:

Here’s a screen shot of the area we will be shooting at Downtown! Thanks Google Maps.

There is free parking on the street of Vance. We will be starting with more brick in the background, and then head over to this park-like area.

General tips for your portrait session:

1. Arrive a hair early. Getting there late will cut into your session time.

2. Go to the bathroom before you leave! I was walking around…and they only have porta-potties at the tree farm nothing really downtown. Not a big deal, just an FYI.

3. Bring your leash and doggy bags to clean up after your pups.

4. Bring any props that you will want to use. I am providing a red truck we can pose on for the Tree Farm. (Not for downtown). (We don’t have to use if you’re not digging it.) The rest is up to you and your preferences.

5. Bring backup clothes for the kiddos…just in case something happens or gets dirty.

6. Bring treats for furbabies and snacks for real babies. Sessions are only 15 minutes, so I’m a huge fan of bribing for good behavior. 😀

What to wear to the mini session:

So. I get this question a lot. What should I wear??? I have a general post of what to bring/what to wear to a shoot. Here’s a more color scheme specific point that I wanted to make, esp for family portraits. I feel like a family should wear colors that:

make sense for the season. This is considered fall now so that means maroons, purples, navies, oranges, grays, browns, and darker greens. I don’t really recommend pastel colors, but hey – if that’s your jam…more power to you.
matches, but is not tooooooo “matchy, matchy.” I know that’s a really really general statement, but hear me out. You don’t want to all be wearing the exact same color. The goal is to look cohesive without looking like everyone is wearing the same pair of pants…I also like one general color, one neutral color, and then you can add in one pop of color. (That’s optional). If you’re still unsure, I want you to go to pinterest, and type in the search bar: Fall color schemes for pictures. And here, I want y’all to look at the photos and think to yourself…does this picture have TOO much brown (or some other color)?? If the answer is yes, then add in a red or orange, or blue…something to break up the sameness. It also helps if you lay out everyones outfit on the floor next to each other. That’s a great visual to see if there is too much of one color.
1. Scarves sweaters make for GREAT little pops of color. If it’s too much, we can take it off. 🙂

Here are a few examples:

Alrighty, y’all! I hope this helps! Y’all take down my number and call/text me if you have trouble finding anything. Me and my santa elf assistant are here to help! 901-412-4482.

See you soon!!

xoxo

Featured / thoughts by Maddie / wedding day tips

Thoughts by Maddie, May 3rd: A Routine Wedding

May 2, 2016

I’ve been thinking about the importance of a wedding day for my brides, and it has made me think about my own wedding day almost 2 years ago. It’s easy as a wedding vendor to go through the motions of a routine wedding day. So many of the actions are the same.

You put on your dress. You walk down the aisle. Both of you say I do. And then you dance.

But that was so different from my wedding day. I didn’t think about the day as a series of events happening, business as usual. No.

It was not just a dress. It was THE dress that, even to this day, makes me feel like a princess. Every twirl was accompanied with a smile. And when it swooshed, I giggled. Even writing the word “giggled” sounds so child-like, but it’s true. My childhood dreams of becoming a princess, marrying my prince charming, and living out my own fairy tale were coming true. Not to mention my very favorite pair of blue boots added just enough flair to fit my personality. Cinderella couldn’t even keep up. 😉

And I didn’t just walk down the aisle. My dad walked me down the aisle. Only after he calmed me down from my momentary freak out. He told me he loved me as he kissed me on the cheek and handed me over to the next best person (after him, of course) to take care of me. He’s not here now, so this memory has become even more precious than before.

And we did not just say “I do.” We said our vows to each other. Vows that we had written ourselves because we wanted to say words no one else had heard before. “I will follow you anywhere, for you are my home.” Professing our commitment, the commitment of forever, in front of our friends and family made it that much more sacred.

And then, you know what? I did dance. I danced allllll night long. I did have on my dancing boots…

Specifically during the reception, I remember one slow song that my new husband and I were dancing to in the middle of the floor. My grandparents were dancing behind me. My parents and in-laws were dancing to the left and right. My bridesmaids were dancing with their boyfriends on the side. And then my aunts were dancing with their husbands and kids right in front of me. There were all of these different stages of love from 50 years of marriage down to dating for a few months, both couples and families. Never in my life had I felt surrounded by so much love. If I could sum up my reception in one word, it would be family. There was no way I could have escaped the overpowering feeling of having the most supportive family celebrating this new chapter of my life with me. And finally, at that point, I got it.

I finally understood the meaning of a wedding. This was my ah-ha moment.

So…even though it may be the same actions over and over again (dress, aisle, “I do”, and dance), it will feel anything but routine to you.

The wedding day holds so many heavy moments. They may not be the same moments as mine, but you will have your own moments that instantly come to mind as you glance over your wedding photos, years from now. Moments that you hope you will never forget.

Good thing you’ll never have to.

xoxo

Featured / thoughts by Maddie / wedding day tips

Ceremony Times: Advice from your friendly neighborhood photographer

April 26, 2016

Yay!! You’re engaged! It’s springtime, school’s out for the summer, trees are a bloomin’, and yo’ finger be a blingin’!! It’s the perfect time to talk….CEREMONY TIMES!

Who better to tell you WHEN to have your ceremony than your friendly neighborhood photographer?! That’s me, Maddie Moreeeee! 😉

So let’s start by talking about the light. Have you ever heard some photographers gush about the light? It sounds super uppity.

“Oh dahling, just look at this light. It’s ALLLLLLL about the light.

You can’t pay for that light!

That light makes my job worth it. (I may or may not have said that one myself. Guilty.)

Haven’t you ever heard about the golden hour? (In this super accusatory tone, like gah! Everybody take a chill pill.) So of course you kinda feel like an idiot because you don’t know when golden hour is, so you literally google, “when is golden hour?” because you don’t want to sound stupid. (Thank the Lord for Google!)

Well, the thing is, as much as I don’t want to sound uppity and all, the light is important.

Let me tell you why.

If it’s too sunny, no clouds, and it’s beating down on you….you’re going to have some shadows all over your face. And you will have a hard time overpowering the sun with a little flash. It just happens.

Here are the problems we will face with a ceremony that is too early in the summer months (Like 3 or 4pm):

1. It’s hot! We live in the South, people. And you will be in a 30-50lb dress. Eeeeek. Sweaty, oily, and shiny. The trifecta of not ideal picture situations.

2. The sun is not in the best position for ceremony, and you also risk putting all of your other photos at a non-optimal time like high noon for couples shots. This causes weird shadows, intense light, raccoon eyes…

I HIGHLY recommend between a 6-7 o’clock ceremony time in the summer months. And if you are getting married on a Friday, move that sheesh on down between 6:30-7pm (because you have to account for 5 o’clock traffic making everyone late and frazzled! And that comes from personal experience…)! But don’t freak out, we will still have plenty of time! Sunset in the summer isn’t until 8:15-8:30.

Now, on the flip side, let’s talk about ceremony times being too late. This is often times an issue because we are planning a fall wedding in – uhh – May, so sunset timing is really misleading. Sunset moves up considerably in the fall months, and we do not have as much time. So, if it’s too dark, then here are the problems you face:

1. You risk your ceremony shots being blurry OR grainy (there is a difference). Why? Because photographers have to adjust camera settings to accommodate the lack of light, meaning longer shutter times or less detail. Lower shutter speed results in possible blurriness. Less detail results in graininess. Let me show you the difference. Instead of using my husband for my test model, well, meet Edison! Edi is my awesome cousin who came into town for a quick trip, so of course I had to put him to work. Lol! Here are three different pics of the same scene:

This photo is a normal scene. Consider this to be a ceremony at an optimal time. In focus with detail.

This photo is where I turned off the lights and slowed down my shutter speed. When you have to change your shutter speed, you risk blurry images. Like below.

Below, I raised my shutter speed back up, but I had to compromise the level of detail. You can see all the dots below in the image, called “noise,” which is a little more distracting.

2. You may have to let the photographer use flash. (Certainly not ideal during the ceremony as it is distracting (in my opinion.))

3. Not to mention, starting the ceremony late, there will literally be no light left for couples pictures IF you choose to have a traditional look. At least by having a first look, you get those photos for sure!

So what does this mean for YOU?

It means that if you are getting married in mid-October, IF you want to get married outside your ceremony time HAS to be around 5pm or earlier, and I strongly advise having a first look. If you are getting married after daylight savings time (early November to mid-March), your ceremony needs to be at 4pm or earlier. The later in March, the later the ceremony can go.

Tip! Google: sunset in Memphis (or other location) on {wedding date}. Take that time and subtract an hour. IE: Sunset at 5:16pm. Ceremony should be at 4. (or 4:15, though that seems like a weird time.)

Now, this all being said, I would rather have a bright, super sunny ceremony in the summer than a dark ceremony in the fall. That is a personal opinion, but if we have to compromise, I would take more light than less.

I hope this little ceremony time advice has helped in your planning! And if you have any questions on it, just drop me a line! I’m happy to give my opinion…obviously. Lol!

Xoxo

thoughts by Maddie

New Year, New Post!

January 6, 2016

It’s been a while since I posted anything at all! Talk about crickets. Yeesh.

But I’m not going to lie to you, the last few months have been hard. The holidays were tough without my dad, realizing I could never be with him again on Christmas…or Thanksgiving…or any holiday, for that matter.. And now, we are in January…the grayest, coldest month of the year. I’m sure many of you, like me, are making New Year’s Resolutions and reflecting on the past year. “Last year was great, but it’s time for a new year, a new ME.” “This year, I’m going to change.” “This year, I’m going to lose weight.” Etc. Etc.

As I look back on 2015, I think about how strong it made me. It has been the hardest year of my life. A lot of changes have come and gone. A lot of tears, loss, sadness, fear, anxiety, and truths I didn’t know how to handle or even comprehend. But I also have experienced a lot of love. Even love from people I’ve never met. A love that helped me get back on my feet.

So this year, I’m doing my resolutions a little different. I have asked myself these questions: What do I want to keep? What do I want to lose? What do I want to gain? And perhaps the most important, what is MY finish line?

Finish line, meaning: where do I want to be? What am I working for/towards? What am I expecting from my life?

And after answering those: How the heck am I going to get there?

So I’ve come up with two places I’m going to start.

Applying my new-found strength from 2015 to my life, to my business, and to my philosophies today. Making decisions accordingly.
Creating a healthier way of life. My dad passed away from a strange heart condition, accelerated by high blood pressure. This will NOT happen to me. I’m not a fad-diet person…but my sister and husband has convinced me to try paleo. (We’ll see how that goes…)

Now that I have resolved to be strong and healthier, what could keep me in check more than a…

Goofy paleo diet video journal?? Duh. Wasn’t that on everyone’s mind?

It would go something like this:

Day 1: Literally had a day dream about cheese. Melted cheese. All the different ways to prepare cheese. All the different cheeses!! OMG: brie, blue cheese, goat cheese, cheddar…if you sit and think about it, the list is INFINITE. Later, I was actually drooling while searching peanut butter brownie recipes on Pinterest. Pinterest, while on a diet, is like a modern day form of torture. Hangry has become a new word in my vocabulary. #TheStruggleIsReal

You get the gist.

As I opened up my video app to record my entry, I found this video that I never posted. It was from right before my dad went into the hospital almost 10 months ago. Before my life, our business, and my family lost a key player.

I watched it, quickly remembering that I didn’t post it because I thought I looked and sounded ridiculous. (Me? Ridiculous?? Never…)

It’s still hard to watch videos of myself, but I decided to post it nevertheless.

(If this video doesn’t work, you can also view it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNanbXpHiPk)

Because THIS ^^ is who I am. This is still what I think. These are still the things I want from my photography and your wedding day. This is still the way I feel. No apologies. But the difference between 10 months ago and today…?
I’m stronger.

xoxo

thoughts by Maddie

October Fitness Challenge: Jab, Jab, HOOK!

October 14, 2015

So I have been to a few kickboxing classes now, and I wanted to give an account of my very first class to show you how I’m doing!

I’ll throw these in here every now and then to keep you posted. And I’ll do a final post at the end of the month!

Class 1:

Took my before pictures. Compared to my other friends taking a similar challenges (Alex’s “Banishing Skinny Fat” and Joelle’s “No Booze No Boys” Challenge), I have a little more work to do. Lol

A few thoughts before I started my first class.

Ooo, look at these badass boxing gloves. 😉 This is legit.

Oh, I hope I don’t break a nail. (Now, I know what you’re thinking…weak. BUT for your information, breaking a nail hurts! So there! 😛 )

10:05 Class has started. Is it normal to be this tired after warm-up? 40 minutes to go. (class is 45 minutes long).

10:07 Oh my GOD! People do this for fun?? I’m supposed to do what? 38 minutes…

10:13 I’m going to be sore. I might already be sore. This kicking kinda hurts. 32 minutes to go.

NEED water. I thought I was in shape. I’ve been going to yoga!! (<—not kidding, actually thought this).

10:21 I can’t tell if wearing a watch is helping this go by faster or slower. Please let it be OVER….24 minutes left.

10:24 I hate everyone. Ahhhhhh. What if I just rested in child’s pose for a minute? 21 minutes to go.

10:27 OK Madison, pull it together!!!! You’re looking a little pathetic compared to these other ladies.

There was like a 60 year old lady keeping up better than me. 🙁 18 minutes…

10:30 Weird cough developed. Can’t. Stop. Coughing. What does this mean? Maybe I’m physically impaired and should stop immediately. 15 minutes to go.

10:35 Cough still there. Found a small second wind. Jab jab HOOK! 10 minutes to go.

10:38 Second wind gone. Really ready to be done. My pushups are awful. Is this even considered a pushup? 7 min left!

10:42 Not another burpee! 3 min left.

10:44 Yeah, that last self-challenge isn’t really going to happen…I’m just going to lay here for a minute (maybe 5).

I finally finished. I obviously didn’t die, but I couldn’t go back for a few days because, my calves hate me. Stairs were a problem. I’m still incredibly sore, but I have a few key takeaways from this:

You will look ridiculous. But get over it. It’s a process, and choose a punching bag in the back.
I’ve never been so sore from another sport in my life. So I think something will definitely happen in this month.
At the very least, you will learn to kick someone if they are coming towards you and run away. Bonus for safety.
20 minutes in, I was like “Uh, hell no. I quit.” But then I reasoned, “No, that’s just lame.” And so I didn’t. So it doesn’t really matter how many times you want to say “I quit.” It matters how many times you say, “no, that’s just lame. I’ll keep going.”
Cut your nails before you go.

I felt like Bridget Jone’s with her workout diary. 🙂 I’m going to channel my “Bridget” for the next few weeks. Be back soon!

xoxo

thoughts by Maddie

Maddie’s October Challenge

October 8, 2015

Ok, time for some truth talk, ladies. Your wedding is coming up in NO time! You are about to have your final fitting for your dress, and you’d really like to be able to breathe as you say your vows. Time is ticking, pressure is building, and stress eating is NOT an option!! Does this sound familiar?

So, how do you lose those last stubborn pounds? Great question. I’m getting there.

Welcome to Maddie’s October Fitness challenge. And I guess it’s super official because I’m posting this publicly for the world to see! (No turning back now. Uh oh.) Accompanied with some before pictures. Eeeeeek. I’m definitely not one to post pictures of myself in a negative way. I’ve always been one of those girls who doesn’t ask the “have I gained weight??” question because you NEVER ask questions to which you already know the answer or don’t really WANT the truthful answer. I mean, that is just setting your man up to fail! So that being said, let’s not address the before pictures…

Actually, wait I do want to say something about these pictures. I HATE my posture in this side pic. I think it’s poor body language, and that is ALSO added to the list for this challenge. And think about it brides, if you are slouching on your wedding day, it’s not as attractive. We have to SHOW our confidence! And standing up straight something I’m going to work on.

I’m just glad I have my other friends, Alexandra and Joelle, taking a similar challenges, to help me with accountability! Let’s do it!

Anyways, as y’all already know, I’ve been married a little over a year, and I’m a little late to be losing weight a month before my wedding. However, I’m coming at this from a slightly different angle. Some of you ladies may find this to be true that right after the I do’s, there was the honeymoon (an all-inclusive resort). And after the honeymoon (a buffet of eat and drink), you return back to your normal life of *dum dum DUMMMMMMMMM*…carbs. No longer in the bridezilla mode, and possibly returning back to old habits (yes I’ll have another). So for all that weight you did lose before the wedding, it – well- kinda came back. Which is where I’m chilling right now. In that pre-engagement normal. But wouldn’t it be nice if my *pre-wedding* weight was my new normal??

For the bride-to-be’s and the newlyweds, this post is a lose weight before the wedding, or losing the weight you gained back from after the wedding (in my case).

For the month of October, I am participating in a month long challenge of kicking my extra pounds to the curb with MEMPHIS FITNESS KICKBOXING. BOOM! POW! OUCH! That was the sound of me kicking my pounds, and they said, “Ouch!” In case you were wondering.

I don’t really have a weight goal. I think it’s misleading because some of that could be muscle. I have more of a size goal, which is to drop a size. And after this challenge, I’m gonna get back into my wedding dress!! I’ll post pics of that too. 🙂 Just y’all wait!

I plan on going 3 times a week, depending on how sore I am for 5 weeks. I know that’s a little longer than a month, but I’ll be out of town at the end of Oct, so some of it will bleed into November.

Just so we are clear, I’m not a HUGE fan of exercise. It’s okay……at best…

My favorite kind of workouts are the ones that don’t feel like you’re actually exercising. Do y’all feel the same way?

I used to play competitive tennis as a teen. Tennis wasn’t really exercise, it was something to compete in, which got me going! Nowadays, I love practicing hot yoga (vinyasa), but I am not a fanatic or go every day. I like hot yoga because you sweat so much. It feels like you achieve more. Lol

For food, I will probably continue to eat what I normally do, but maybe cut back on some pasta and beer…. If my diet changes, I’ll keep you posted so nothing is misleading.

So here is the intro to the challenge. I have already taken 1 class. I had to take off a few days because my calf muscles hate me. :/ I’ll post more on my challenge soon.

xoxo

Featured / thoughts by Maddie / wedding day tips

Thoughts by Maddie, May 28th

May 28, 2015

So I’ve been thinking…

What is ONE small thing that will make your kick up your wedding pictures THAT much more. And I think I’ve officially decided…

A decorative hanger!

Engagement ring on a Mrs. hanger 🙂

Ah ha! You didn’t think I was going to say that, did you?? There’s just something about them that shows you put care and thought into the “scene.” You may be getting ready in a church basement. There may be pictures of cartoon animals dancing on the walls behind you because, yes, sometimes you get ready in the children’s music room. But AT LEAST you will have a decorative hanger!! Cute hangers can amp up your before ceremony pictures (which are, by far, my favorite part of the wedding) in the snap of a fingers. Music rooms, schmusic frooms- you won’t even notice. Just do it. Spend the extra 20 dollars to buy the hanger, a hot glue gun, and some decorative stuff. Or just go to etsy.com and have one made! Sheesh.

And if you have a strapless dress, get creative. So, at least when your photographer goes to shoot your dress, you won’t have a plastic hanger holding it up. Additionally, your photog has a cute platform to shoot small details on (ie. ring, earrings, etc).

Yep, that’s my thought today. Buy a cute hanger. Maddie has spoken. You won’t regret it.

xoxo

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thoughts by Maddie

Photo PTSD

As a photographer, it’s SO easy to get lost behind the camera.

We HOPE that we look different from what we KNOW.

A photo is just a split second of time. And it can be merciless.

Because I didn’t have my photographer hat on. I had my customer hat on.

CODE FOR: I didn’t know WHO I could trust MY insecurities with.

The process of how a photo session works.

But that is part of the process! Every last chin of it.

It was after this process that I started being nicer to myself.

For good or for evil, that’s the power of ONE photo.

Remember that time we tried to avoid each other at the store but accidentally made eye contact??

I’ve been gone sooo long from blogging, it’s like I forgot what to do with my hands.

I will never be Charlize. I will only ever be Madison Yen. But I can still be the BEST VERSION of myself. It might be hard to picture (ha, see what I did there?), but that’s where I would step in.

So now, here we are. At the grocery store, unshowered and making awkward conversation.

Netflix and the cat (though I actually have a dog named Bears. Photos to come…) can wait.

Memphis Wedding Photographer: Thoughts by Maddie 10-2-18

Memphis Wedding Photographer: Thoughts by Maddie 10-2-18

I’ve been bad about weddings lately. I haven’t posted on facebook, emailed, tweeted, or instagrammed much at all. In fact, I have been doing the absolute bare minimum the last year and a half.

And well, I kinda suck at that.

Ahhh, you didn’t expect a wedding photographer to discuss divorce, did you? Seems ironic doesn’t it?

To fall back in love with weddings again.

And finally, after taking some time to grieve the loss of my dad and this divorce, I can breathe again.

And when you hire your photographer (and any other wedding vendors, for that matter), give them some grace. It’s not an easy job. It’s exhausting, difficult, and emotional.

It’s worth it.

Mini Session Prep

Thoughts by Maddie, May 3rd: A Routine Wedding

You put on your dress. You walk down the aisle. Both of you say I do. And then you dance.

I finally understood the meaning of a wedding. This was my ah-ha moment.

Ceremony Times: Advice from your friendly neighborhood photographer

Yay!! You’re engaged! It’s springtime, school’s out for the summer, trees are a bloomin’, and yo’ finger be a blingin’!! It’s the perfect time to talk….CEREMONY TIMES!

New Year, New Post!

October Fitness Challenge: Jab, Jab, HOOK!

Maddie’s October Challenge

Thoughts by Maddie, May 28th

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