Memphis Wedding Photographer: Thoughts by Maddie 10-2-18
Hey hey! Maddie here.
It’s been a loooooooooong time since I’ve posted really anything on my wedding blog other than wedding photos (and even those have been at a minimum). So, I thought it was time to discuss something a little closer to home because we’re all friends here, right??
I’ve been bad about weddings lately. I haven’t posted on facebook, emailed, tweeted, or instagrammed much at all. In fact, I have been doing the absolute bare minimum the last year and a half.
Yeah, we noticed Maddie…why??
Well, some old news…my dad, my business partner and my best friend in the entire world, died in 2015. Maybe you knew that, maybe you didn’t. But 2015, for my business was the hardest both technically and emotionally to have to go through losing him. But it was do-able because I still had my husband and family to help support me, and because weddings still made sense.
Until a year and a half later when my husband and I got divorced. And between the double Ds of death and divorce, it made shooting weddings too much for me. People told me to “just separate the work from my personal life.” “Just do your job.” “Get ‘er done.”
And well, I kinda suck at that.
When I take photos, especially wedding photos, I cannot take my emotion out of the session. I have to get personally invested in the client and their life, and I have to have some sort of emotional connection to them in order to create images that show their emotions to each other.
It’s a lot. And I’ve been bitter.
Which is what I have struggled with this last year and a half – feeling like I got the short end of the stick. So, how can I photograph people getting married when I feel this way? It just seemed fake.
Ahhh, you didn’t expect a wedding photographer to discuss divorce, did you? Seems ironic doesn’t it?
Not to say I haven’t shot any weddings the last two years. Of course I have. I’ve laughed, cried, screamed, danced, and loved my way through weddings. I’ve made some amazing new friends, and I’ve met the most wonderful couples and families that I couldn’t have even dreamed of having as clients.
It was this semi-break from weddings and my amazing couples who have allowed me to heal.
To fall back in love with weddings again.
Weddings are stressful. I’m dead the next day. There’s a ton of work before, during and after the wedding day, and there’s the extra stress of a wedding being a one-time event that you don’t want to mess up. BUT, it’s also an amazing day to experience the behind the scenes…like a fly on the wall during one of the most intimate, happy, and just all around emotional days of someone’s life. Through my camera, I can see the world clear as day. I can see true love exist. True happiness, emotion, and familial support…all captured through photos. Moments that I have the privilege to witness over and over again.
And finally, after taking some time to grieve the loss of my dad and this divorce, I can breathe again.
I can go to a wedding and cry, not because I miss my dad or I’m sad because my marriage didn’t work, but I can go to a wedding and truly cry tears of joy because this is something that I love. Because my couples are the best part of my job and my business. And because I’m genuinely happy for them and this life that they get to live.
So what now you ask?
I guess now, I just want you to love in your most honest and best possible way. Love the gorgeous day you’re putting together, and just remember what it’s for in the first place. Appreciate your parents, your family, and your future spouse. Because life is short and because extra love and gratitude never hurt anyone.
And when you hire your photographer (and any other wedding vendors, for that matter), give them some grace. It’s not an easy job. It’s exhausting, difficult, and emotional.
But I dare say…
It’s worth it.
Till next time.