A Letter to Brides During the Pandemic

I’ve been thinking about this topic long and hard. I started off in the camp of “This is ridiculous. There’s no way this virus is going to get so crazy that weddings will be canceled over it.”

 

Before quarantine, I didn’t even think the virus would reach me all the way over here in little ol’ Denver.

 

And with my disbelief came ignorance. Ignorance of the situation abroad. Ignorance of the economical consequences of quarantining so many people at once. Ignorance of the fear all centered around one virus. Ignorance of the need to cancel a wedding. 

 

I mean, people are just overreacting, right?!

 

But then I saw a post on Facebook from a fellow photographer that pretty much said…Wake the fuck up! This is a pandemic. People are dying. This is not just about your perfect wedding day anymore. We’ve got bigger fish to fry. We’re not in a wedding mindset anymore, we are in a survival mindset.

 

Of course, I’m paraphrasing, but that was the gist.

 

After I read that, I felt…ridiculous. Gahhh, she was so right. It was so true. 

 

A wedding doesn’t compare to a human life. Duh. 

A wedding isn’t a big enough deal to risk everyone’s safety. 

A wedding shouldn’t be the exception. 

 

A wedding is just a wedding. 

 

And you can always get married some other time when the world isn’t burning.

 

But.

 

Yes, I have a “but.”

 

But to all the brides who had to cancel or postpone their wedding…

 

I’m sorry. I am truly, truly sorry.

 

I know how much time, money, effort, planning, emotions, pressure, and energy goes into planning a wedding.

 

And it’s not fair. It’s not fair that something you have been dreaming of for forever has to be trampled all over and swept under the rug of COVID-19. What about the people who got married last year? Or hell – in February? Why did all of this have to happen right before YOUR date?

 

The very date you have been living by for the last year you’ve been in planning mode.

 

How anticlimactic. 

 

You had the parties, sent the invitations, booked the DJ, finalized the menu, sampled the cake flavors, confirmed all of it for YOUR DATE. You did all the things.

 

And now…? 

 

Nothing.

 

No wedding and no idea of when to even plan for the “plan B” day. 

 

Why did I get the “plan B” day?

 

For the people who are already married, I get it. It’s easy to think your little sister’s friend is completely overreacting. They can just find a new day when everything calms down and that’s that.

Sure, it’s easy to forget how big of a deal your own wedding was when you were planning it. 

 

It’s easy to see life after the wedding when you’re already living it. 

 

But just imagine if you were the bride when a global pandemic was happening. Imagine just a few of her thoughts…

 

This was my turn. My turn to say yes, to be the bride instead of the bridesmaid. To marry the love of my life. To start our new chapter as husband and wife.

 

And instead, the entire world is pretty much shutting down. My big, beautiful dream of a wedding got canceled/demoted to whenever this vendor wasn’t booked in the fall. Not to mention how much money I lost to get something that wasn’t even what I originally wanted. 

 

And…AND…

 

I can’t even bitch about it because there are people dying, and we’re in the MIDDLE OF A GLOBAL FUCKING CRISIS. 

 

I get it! Girl, I am sad with you. And you better believe that every other ‘out of work’ wedding photographer/vendor is sad with you, too. 

 

Because this situation sucks. 

 

But at the end of the day, are you still happy and in love with your fiancé? 

Are both of you healthy? What about your parents?

Do you still have a home? Do you still have a job? Can you pay your bills?

 

If your answers are “yes” to these questions, then keep your head up. ‘The Rona’ didn’t get everything!

 

I know that’s easier said than done, but when you’re faced with a global pandemic, there is no RIGHT answer – no perfect way to handle a situation. So take some time to grieve your original date, your plan A. Take some time to curse the Rona, shake your fists at the sky, have several drinks, and cry. 

 

It’s ok. It’s ok to be mad. It doesn’t make you a bad person for being upset.

 

The Rona may have taken the wedding, but it will NOT take your marriage.

It may have shat all over your plans, but you will make new plans. And if it shits all over the new plans, then you’ll just sit down with your fiancé and make some more. 

 

Because this is why y’all chose each other in the first place. To do life together. 

 

And that, my friends…is life. Crazy, unpredictable, beautiful life.

 

Till next time.

xoxo,

madison