It’s been a while since I posted anything at all! Talk about crickets. Yeesh.
But I’m not going to lie to you, the last few months have been hard. The holidays were tough without my dad, realizing I could never be with him again on Christmas…or Thanksgiving…or any holiday, for that matter.. And now, we are in January…the grayest, coldest month of the year. I’m sure many of you, like me, are making New Year’s Resolutions and reflecting on the past year. “Last year was great, but it’s time for a new year, a new ME.” “This year, I’m going to change.” “This year, I’m going to lose weight.” Etc. Etc.
As I look back on 2015, I think about how strong it made me. It has been the hardest year of my life. A lot of changes have come and gone. A lot of tears, loss, sadness, fear, anxiety, and truths I didn’t know how to handle or even comprehend. But I also have experienced a lot of love. Even love from people I’ve never met. A love that helped me get back on my feet.
So this year, I’m doing my resolutions a little different. I have asked myself these questions: What do I want to keep? What do I want to lose? What do I want to gain? And perhaps the most important, what is MY finish line?
Finish line, meaning: where do I want to be? What am I working for/towards? What am I expecting from my life?
And after answering those: How the heck am I going to get there?
So I’ve come up with two places I’m going to start.
- Applying my new-found strength from 2015 to my life, to my business, and to my philosophies today. Making decisions accordingly.
- Creating a healthier way of life. My dad passed away from a strange heart condition, accelerated by high blood pressure. This will NOT happen to me. I’m not a fad-diet person…but my sister and husband has convinced me to try paleo. (We’ll see how that goes…)
Now that I have resolved to be strong and healthier, what could keep me in check more than a…
Goofy paleo diet video journal?? Duh. Wasn’t that on everyone’s mind?
It would go something like this:
Day 1: Literally had a day dream about cheese. Melted cheese. All the different ways to prepare cheese. All the different cheeses!! OMG: brie, blue cheese, goat cheese, cheddar…if you sit and think about it, the list is INFINITE. Later, I was actually drooling while searching peanut butter brownie recipes on Pinterest. Pinterest, while on a diet, is like a modern day form of torture. Hangry has become a new word in my vocabulary. #TheStruggleIsReal
You get the gist.
As I opened up my video app to record my entry, I found this video that I never posted. It was from right before my dad went into the hospital almost 10 months ago. Before my life, our business, and my family lost a key player.
I watched it, quickly remembering that I didn’t post it because I thought I looked and sounded ridiculous. (Me? Ridiculous?? Never…)
It’s still hard to watch videos of myself, but I decided to post it nevertheless.
(If this video doesn’t work, you can also view it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNanbXpHiPk)
Because THIS ^^ is who I am. This is still what I think. These are still the things I want from my photography and your wedding day. This is still the way I feel. No apologies. But the difference between 10 months ago and today…?